Some Things I Inherited From My Father

As the years flash by since I lost both my parents, I remember all the things that they contributed to making me the person that I am. I hope that I’ve done them proud.

While my mom was the practical one, who made sure we had clean clothes, were warmly dressed and fed, and bills were paid on time, my father was the dreamer, the romantic, the poet in our household. Not that he didn’t work hard, both at his job as a house painter for a national company which no longer exists, but when he came home he would spend hours tending to his vegetable garden. He always dreamed of having his own farm with horses, pigs, chickens, fruits and vegetables to feed his family. And a vineyard. He wanted to make wine out of his own grapes. Although it was late in life, and on a small scale, he was finally able to have a hobby farm where he and my mom raised chickens and the fruits and vegetables.

And he made a start at the grapes. Unfortunately, by that point he no longer had the energy nor the money to spend on his dream. The vines are still there … The dream is just a bitter sweet memory.

Books

My mother never really saw the attraction of books. When I would close myself in my room reading, she’d try to shoo me outside to play, to walk around, to do SOMETHING. My dad would tell her, “leave the girl alone, books are important too.” I escaped into my books. Into the worlds between those colourful covers. Into the romances, mysteries, science fiction and fantasy stories.

Plants – Flowers and Vegetables

My dad’s favourite flowers were tulips. When we lived in the suburbs, he turned the back yard into a mini-Holland with raised beds of tulips (peonies also made an appearance in season).

Supported by huge rocks he brought into the yard, he covered them with self sowing sweet alyssum. Rhododendrons and azaleas with their showy colourful blooms also made an an appearance.

My own gardening efforts are restricted to herbs I can use in my cooking and grow in outdoor pots.

Music

Over the years, my dad was able to collect a handful of tapes of Romanian folk music that he’d listen to on the boom box I bought for him. But his favourite was opera, in particular performances by Luciano Pavarotti. I managed to record all the specials Pavarotti appeared in on PBS, especially “The Three Tenors”, for my dad. Personally, I’m more fond of light opera in the style of Gilbert and Sullivan, but I can enjoy classic opera as well.

Cultural Heritage

My dad was proud of his Romanian heritage, and though he didn’t belong to the local church and community center, where one would normally congregate with fellow Romanians, he wanted us to retain our language and be aware of its history. Regrettably, my brother and I embraced our new country wholeheartedly and all that remains are a few Romanian newspapers and this book kept for its illustrations. I just wish it actually contained the fairy tales it refers to.

Somehow I ended up with all 3 copies of the book. I’m sure one was supposed to be for my brother, one for me and the last for my parents, and eventually for any grandchildren.

Traditional Crafts – Embroidery and Weaving Patterns

Each country has its own costume, usually with a linen shirt or blouse which had been hand embroidered painstakingly and a woven skirt for the women and vests for the men. I’ve never had a loom but the patterns in this book would look wonderful.

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14 thoughts on “Some Things I Inherited From My Father

  1. It’s lovely to read about your parents who sound like wonderful people. I’m glad your father was able to have the hobby farm that he had always dreamed of. And how lovely that he encouraged your love of reading xx

    1. Thank you. They sacrificed a lot to send both of us to university and asked for nothing in return cause they never wanted us to work as hard as they had to when they came to Canada with only 4 suitcases holding everything they owned, not speaking the language and 2 children – 7 and 10 yrs of age.

  2. What a lovely tribute to your parents. I’ve been thinking a lot about my parents and how they arrived with nothing (refugees from Hungary in 1956). How our lives would be different if Canada hadn’t opened their arms to them. It is a sad day in America for sure.

    1. Immigrants have, on the whole, brought new life, ideas and innovation to their new homes. There are, of course, exceptions, but I believe they are miniscule in the greater scheme of things. I think my (and your) hard working parents represent the great majority who have enriched Canada.

      I agree with your sentiment. They say a country gets the politicians they deserve but I don’t think the US deserves their current commander in chief. No one does.

  3. A very touching post. I wish I had had such a wonderful father as yours…. I have always wondered what my life would have been like if I emigrated with my parents as a child (and what their lives would have been like). I moved to Switzerland quite late in my life (and no children), so it’s different.

    1. My dad wasn’t a saint by any stretch of the imagination but over the years I came to understand some of the hardships he (and my mom) went through during WW2 and its aftermath in a communist country even though they didn’t share a lot of details with us.

      Time has softened the sharp edges of memory and I prefer to look back on the best aspects of both my parents and the sacrifices they made.

  4. Beautiful post and tribute to your parents. And to immigrants, everywhere. I wholeheartedly agree about not deserving what we got. I hope, anyway. I said last night to the folks that I feel we’re living in a bad reality TV show, only there’s no turning off the channel.

    1. Thank you. A bit of time often needs to pass so we can get the right perspective. Sometimes so we can grieve less before we do so, sometimes so we can reconcile old hurts … but with maturity comes clarity, hopefully.

      1. I totally agree with you ♡♡
        We are and will always be indebted to our parents for every thing. What were we, other than a piece of flesh ? It is our parents who turned ash into human. I really can’t be grateful enough to them !! Beautiful blog. Keep writing dear♡♡

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